Lost Memories
by Im-AcErBiC
Summary: Lilly comes home from work one day to find all the pictures on her computer gone. This might not hurt as much were they not all pictures of the late Oliver Oken. Rating for language and character death.


**Lost Memories**

**A/N:** Forgive how dramatic and depressing this is. But, the fact of the matter is, this actually happened to me yesterday. My sister turned on our computer and almost all of the pictures that my family has taken over the years were completely gone. This includes all the pictures of a dog that I had for nine years, who passed away right before Christmas. Luckily, I have a few of them on Myspace and Facebook. Still, I'm in an understandably foul mood. Because not only did the pictures disappear, but so did EVERY SINGLE UNPOSTED STORY I HAD SAVED ON THIS PIECE OF CRAP. There were hundreds of them. Still, I hope you like this one-shot.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hannah Montana.

**Summary:** Lilly comes home from work one day to find all the pictures on her computer gone. This might not hurt as much were they not all pictures of the late Oliver Oken.

~!#$%^&*()_+

The cold Colorado air was particularly painful that day, as 19-year-old Lilly Truscott trudged along the snow-covered sidewalk in her ripped and worn-out blue jeans. Her darkened blonde hair whipped around wildly, entangled with her black and gray striped scarf, as her breaths came out in puffs of steam, starting in front of her and quickly floating by as she walked. The cloudy winter sky hung lifelessly above her, reflecting in her strange and off-season sunglasses.

She kicked at a colony of tiny pebbles weakly, before turning and simply glancing at a plain, white one-story house to her right. Her eyes shot back to the spot in front of her, and slowly traveled up the peach-colored cobblestone walkway, which her feet soon followed.

Her blue eyes were misty and sad, misty from the cold, and sad from something else entirely...

As she neared the porch, she let out a tired sigh and reached into her black, skull-covered purse for a small silver key, before letting herself into the drafty house.

As she slid off her coat, she glanced around curiously.

"Mom?" She called out blankly, laying her purse on the kitchen counter and removing her sunglasses.

No one appeared to be inhabiting the house, as everything was perfectly in place and seemingly untouched. Lilly sighed, as she figured her mother must still be out with her boyfriend.

Lilly threw her coat off and hung it carelessly over the back of a kitchen chair, making her way to her dark, secluded bedroom. Even the snow outside didn't brighten her room much, as her curtains were jet black, and very little light was able to filter through. The walls were painted a murky slate gray, and even the lampshade was dark, as was blatantly obvious when she turned the lamp on.

The small source of light illuminated Lilly a bit better, revealing her black-streaked blonde hair, and the tattoo she had gotten the year before of three sequential O's on the small of her back. It peaked out underneath her Slipknot t-shirt; outlined in black ink and filled in with a different, but still dark, shade as she bent over her desk to survey whether her mother had left her a note or not. It appeared to have been the latter.

Lilly couldn't handle the light, for it was always blinding. This is why she was compelled to wear sunglasses outside, even in the dead of winter. Even when it was raining and cloudy. Even sometimes when she was inside, and her mother felt it customary to open all the curtains. People could never understand her now, because she would never explain her unique actions. She couldn't explain it, because it all led back to him... She had changed so much in such a short period of time.

A year ago, she couldn't go five minutes without bursting into a random dance move, or laughing effortlessly at one of her best friend's jokes. Nowadays, she was lucky to crack a small smile throughout the whole day.

She flopped backwards on her bed, her stringy hair criss-crossing on her face all over, as she reflected on her day. She hated her job, her position being a waitress at the casino downtown, on her feet walking and hurrying around for six hours everyday.

But she couldn't quit, for her mother needed the funds to pay for their house, and for their monthly bills. Her father was no good for any of it. It was a full-time job, and the money was rather good, but she never had time for anything else. She never even got the opportunity for college, which was what she really wanted, because she worked seven days a week.

She'd basically forgotten what hobbies even were, so it was safe to say she no longer had any. The only thing she did with her spare time was write. She could write anything. Songs, poetry, short stories, long stories, journal entries, or maybe even her list of life-long goals. The one she'd started when she was sixteen. The one she'd started when she was happy, and still had him...

"No," she told herself, the breath she exhaled splaying a small portion of her hair in the air for a short second.

She wouldn't let herself travel down that road again, not today. The day had been stressful enough, she didn't need this.

_There you go again, always thinking of yourself,_ Lilly thought, laying one hand over the soft skin of her stomach, exposed because of the way she was laying. _You think he wanted that to happen? You think he needed that?_

Lilly sniffled at the thought of him, but mostly because she knew she was about to let herself take this trip back to thirteen months before.

She still lived in Malibu then, a beautiful city riddled with beaches. She had a great life, filled with love and joy and laughter. She had two of the best friends she could have ever asked for, Miley Stewart and Oliver Oken. She was eighteen years old, only just starting to get a taste of adulthood, the wonderful things that awaited her in life. The three inseparable comrades planned to apply at the same college, UCLA, and hope for the best. They each knew that one wouldn't go without the other, and it had always been their plan to attend the same university.

She remembered the day she received her acceptance letter from the school. She ran away from the mailbox, leaving it hanging wide open, and ran inside to call Oliver. She called him even before she called Miley, because she knew that they had known each other for nearly their whole lives, and she could never have that indescribable bond with anyone other than him.

He told her he had also received an acceptance letter, and that Miley had, too. He had told her that he was coming straight over to her house to celebrate, and also that he had something important to tell her.

Then, right there on the phone, he'd said "I love you, Lilly." She simply gaped at the wall she was facing, and didn't speak for well over a minute.

When he asked if she was still there, she'd replied "I was thinking of a way to ask you what you meant by that..." She sounded hopeful and impassioned, as she anxiously waited for him to answer her.

"I'll tell you when I get there, I promise."

That was the last time she ever talked to him...the last thing she ever heard him say. There had been an accident on the way to Lilly's house, and Oliver hadn't been the one to walk away from it. Oliver was the innocent one in the whole situation, but the other guy was the one to survive. Lilly hated irony, and this had become her reason why.

All Lilly could do was picture his happy face pulling out of his driveway. Excited that he had gotten into the college of his choice, and happy that his two best friends had, too. Then, in a matter of minutes, everything he had achieved in life suddenly meant nothing anymore. He would never go to UCLA with Miley and Lilly, he would never get his degree and pursue a career in music. He would never get married, and have kids. He would never be able to tell Lilly what he meant when he said "I love you," even though Lilly suspected the meaning.

Or at least, she hoped that was what he meant. But then, she didn't. It made it all the more painful. She knew there was no point in speculating. It just made her ask depressing, hurtful questions that would never be answered anyway.

But she couldn't help but picture their future together. Their wedding...

They would always joke about getting married someday, in case they never found anyone else. Back then, it was a silly joke, that maybe had some truth behind it, because there were certainly feelings between Lilly and Oliver that they never wanted to admit to. But now, in the present, it was a future Lilly wanted more than anything and would never have.

Lilly would wear a white dress, preferrably sleek and satin. She wasn't really into the lace and frills. She would leave her hair down and unstyled, because she knew how much Oliver loved her hair when she just let it air dry after washing it.

Miley would be her maid of honor, and Jackson would be Oliver's best man. Robbie Ray would walk her down the aisle, since her own father was never really around, and Miley's dad had been more of a father to her than her own, anyway.

Her mother would be standing near Miley, tears in her eyes, watching her daughter grow up right before her very eyes. Miley would be crying, too. And Oliver...

He would have a sparkle in his eye, not a tear. He would be transfixed on her, as she walked slowly towards him, and they would be in their own special world together.

The Justice of the Peace would say the oath they always said, only it would mean more to Lilly than just some written oath they had to agree to. It would be her life's goal... To love Oliver when he was sick and well, to love him when they could pay their bills or when they had to eat Ramens soup for two months straight. When they fought, and when they laughed together. When either of them were on their deathbeds, and even during the journey beyond the end of their lives on Earth. She knew nothing could ever hinder that love. The love she had always felt for him. The love she should have professed to him before it was too late.

"I do," she would've said, when prompted. And those two words would have meant more to her than anyone could ever know. "I do," he would've said, staring at her like she was the only person in the room. She loved when he looked at her like that, the way it made her feel.

And they would have spent eternity together, in bodies that help save and preserve the Earth, and as souls that danced and twirled around each other afterwards. They would have found a way to stay together, because you don't give up on a love like that.

"I do," Lilly said with a smile, before realizing that she had become immensely lost in the things that would never be.

She shook these comforting, and yet horrifying images out of her head, falling a long distance back down to Earth. Sobs wracked her body as she sat up, recovering from her daydream. She placed both hands over her face, letting more cries slip from her mouth, her breathing rapid and uneven.

She was just glad her mother was not here to see this, because it was bad enough that she hardly knew her daughter at all, anymore.

Forcing herself to think of her writing, and her job...anything but Oliver, Lilly was finally able to calm down after several minutes. She wiped the back of her hand under her eye, no doubt smearing mascara and eyeliner down her cheek. She didn't care, though. She thought of Miley, and the fact that she hadn't been in touch with her in almost six months.

Miley had grown tired of the Hannah Montana lifestyle, and moved back to Tennesee with her father and brother nearly eight months prior to the present day.

It was after that when Lilly had begged her mother to move out of the state of California, for she had no best friend, nor any reason to stay. Not to mention the horrible memories she had of the place. Her mother had obliged, hating to see Lilly so depressed. She dropped everything to get Lilly away from the nightmare that had become Malibu.

The pair settled on Colorado, noting it was mainly cold. Lilly loved cold weather, but rarely did she get it in California. The move was hectic and quite far to travel, but Lilly and her mother somehow made due.

Since they'd started living there, Lilly had noticed several changes in her mother's behavior. She was gone a lot, mostly due to the new man she'd met God knows where. Lilly only knew that the man's name was Chet, because she had never met him. Anytime she heard he was coming, she would hide out in her room, so she wouldn't have to deal with a brand new stress. Her mother never even asked her to meet him. They had grown apart rather drastically since moving.

Lilly saw that her mother was mimicking her father in the aspect of never being at home, and Lilly knew it was only a matter of time before she was on her own. It was times like these she wished she had never left California, because she needed to see and talk to Miley. The last time she had talked to her was an AIM conversation six months ago.

Lilly hadn't even been near her computer since then, because...well, because she knew where it would lead. Her laptop was filled to the brim with thousands of pictures of Oliver, and anytime she even thought about trying to contact Miley by means of internet, she would end up looking at all those pictures, wailing in her computer chair and laying her wet face against the keyboard.

She'd thought many times of maybe using a picture of her and Oliver as the wallpaper for her desktop. But she'd simply left it pure black, much like the color scheme of her room.

Black...the overall color of the tattoo on her back...the one she swore she'd never defile her body with. Her mother didn't even know about it. She'd gotten it right after they moved to Colorado, and the three O's of course stood for Oliver Oscar Oken. She didn't tell Miley about it either, mostly because she couldn't really find a way. And also because it would lead to a conversation about Oliver, and Lilly didn't want to talk about him with Miley. She didn't want to talk about him at all. She didn't even want to think about him, but her mind would not give her a moment of peace.

Lilly glanced sideways towards her computer, feeling a deep and desperate urge to converse with Miley in some way at least, even if it was so downgraded. Also, deep down, she wanted to see those pictures of Oliver, and she needed an excuse. She had no willpower or strength, so whenever she turned on that computer, she could not stay away from that picture folder.

She sighed loudly, and as her body still shook with the aftermath of her crying fit earlier, she got up and turned the computer on. It loaded up rather quickly, and automatically connected to the internet. Lilly opened her AIM window, hoping like hell Miley was online, but to no avail. Miley's name and smiley face were both grayed out.

Lilly groaned in agitation, and rested her jaw in her hand. She simply closed the window, and hovered her mouse pointer over the folder entitled 'Oliver' that was situated on the desktop. She noticed something strange about the little bubble that popped up over the folder, as she continued to hover there. It usually said that there was some amount above two thousand pictures in there, but now it simply said 'Folder is empty.' Lilly felt a rush of worry surge through her very core, as her heartbeat quickened slightly.

She opened the folder, hoping and expecting to see the smattering of humorous photos of Oliver and herself, but all she saw was the blank backdrop of the opened folder. She felt tears well up in her eyes.

"What the hell?" She whispered to herself. She closed the folder and opened up 'My Documents', seeing that the folder had last been modified the night before, at 12:01 AM.

"No!" She said aloud, slightly louder than her previous outburst.

Just then, she concocted an idea in her head. She would use her restoration disks to restore the system to the way it was the day before. She prayed silently to herself as she searched her shelves for said disks, being that this was probably her only hope. She found them shortly thereafter, popping them into the disk tray as quickly as possible, trying to get the matter resolved.

And, after giving the commands needed to start the process, she waited...

After what seemed like half an hour, though it could have been more seeing as how it had gotten slightly dark outside, she went back over to the laptop to see if all was well. Opening the picture folder again brought her little consolation, as it still remained white and empty. Lilly squinted through the brightness of the background, before picking up the computer and slamming it down on her bed in a fit of rage.

"What the hell did I do to deserve this bullshit?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, partly to herself, and also to the God that supposedly took up residence in the sky above her. The laptop remained open, glaring her in the face with its brightness. It seemed to be laughing at her.

Just as she was about to cause some major destruction to the device out of sheer anger, she felt a chill hit her back, causing her to turn towards her open door. It felt strange, almost like there was someone in the room with her, but she dually noted that she was alone.

She instantly realized her mother must have arrived home, and opening the front door had caused the blast of cold air to enter Lilly's bedroom. Lilly wrapped her arms around herself trying to gain some sense of warmth, before heading out into the hallway.

"Mom, did you mess with my computer last night? All my--" Lilly began to shout out, as she made her way to the living room. She was surprised to find the door tightly shut and locked, with her mother nowhere to be seen.

Lilly's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as she was sure she would find her mother sitting at the kitchen island. She sighed, making her way back to her bedroom.

She gasped in surprise as she entered, as it was even colder than before. Freezing, in fact, and Lilly quickly gaited to her window to see if there could possibly be air getting through from outside.

Nothing. She found no traces of air, and yet her room was getting colder by the second. From behind her, she heard the faint noise of her door clicking shut.

She whipped around in a mess of black and blonde hair, her breathing coming in short gasps now. Something strange was happening in her bedroom, and she had no idea what. Her door was extremely heavy, and a draft had never closed it before. She felt it was something else, though.

She was startled, as her computer began flashing and resembling a static station on a television, and she recalled that her laptop had never behaved so erratically before.

"I-I-I threw it down on the bed...i-it's just m-messed up from that," she muttered to herself, before her computer returned to the blank desktop. Right in front of her, a new window opened, Notepad to be exact.

There appeared to be something written there...

As a single tear rolled down her make-up stained cheek, she read aloud the words that had appeared on the screen.

"_I do_."

~!#$%^&*()_+

**A/N:** You know...I wondered when I started writing this just where it would end up. I was so emotional when I started, and while I was aware of the central idea, I had no idea just what all would be included, and what details I'd be able to come up with. I'm actually really proud of the way this turned out, and I really like it. Usually, I rush through a story to make sure I get the point across that I really want people to see, and the story ends up being short because I wanted to get to the point exactly the way I wanted it put, because I was afraid I would forget it. The good thing about this one was I knew exactly how it was going to turn out, and I knew I wasn't going to forget it, because I was so emotionally connected to the plot. I hope you forge an emotional connection to it, as well.

Anyway, sorry for talking your ear(eyes?) off. And even though I really am saddened by losing all that important content in the hard drive, at least a good story was created from it.


End file.
